Sunday, April 14, 2013
Our Little Girl's Nursery
It's a small space, but we managed to most fit everything we had from L plus a few extras. The closet is devoted mostly to non baby stuff (most of our closets are not for the clothing of the person/people in that room, we have a teeny tiny linen closet and THATS IT, so all closets are filled to the brim with all sorts of stuff). Don't under estimate going from 1700 sq. ft. to 1100 sq. ft. and adding a new baby....
37 weeks
Well I'll be 38 weeks in a couple days- but yeah- full term, will be 100% ready in a few days when I officially stop working. This photo can probably explain how I feel:
HUGE, tired, ready to return to a non pregnant state...I definitely feel larger then last time.
HUGE, tired, ready to return to a non pregnant state...I definitely feel larger then last time.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Happenings
Of course it's been forever since I made a blog post...
It feels like so many things have happened, yet not much to write about, or nothing that I want to write about. We have been trying to get the house more "ready" for our little girl arriving in the next 7-9 weeks (if she's on L's schedule she will arrive before the due date, but I have to at least be aware that I could go after my due date, boy will that be difficult to handle).
We are finally making some real progress on the nursery. after L was born I really felt like his room was a waste. He never slept in there and I spent all this time making it so cute. When I first got pregnant this time, I toyed with not even having a nursery and just keeping the 3rd bedroom as an office/playroom. Well I couldn't stand it, and I started to think about how the baby would need a space her own, off limits to L for naps. I figured he would have a harder time staying out f our room then the "baby's" room. We also moved L into the bigger room and I am so glad we did.
Since my last post, L has not once been walked down to sleep- YAY! That does not mean bedtimes are easy, but it's progress. L now enjoys his night time routine of teeth brushing and stories, but he still fights sleep. This shows up in different ways depending on the night. He will ask for food/drinks oevr and over, he will want to have a certain toy in bed and then be distracted by it, or he will want to read certain books that engage him way too much. Books with pop ups, texture, flaps to be lifted, etc are off limits at bed time. We also realize that we need to change books out often or he gets bored. So we decided to go to the library to get a bunch of books every few weeks. My favorite bed time book for him is Bedtime for Francis- the way it is written works well with a fairly monotone voice and usually gets him to bed. But L is so smart that when he wants to fight bed, he fights the books that are great at putting him to sleep. L is also pretty much day time potty trained. He has an occasional accident, and still has some some anxiety about pooping, but I am so happy we can put on underwear, bring our potty in the back of the car and just go. Night time we use pull ups and L seems to avoid pooping during the day on the potty by pooping when he wakes up in a pull up. I am fine with this for now.
We are having a lot of struggles with Ls behavior with other kids at preschool/playgrounds. L hits/pushes if they simply approach him. He really believes they are going to take his toy or get in his space. It's embarrassing to have the kid that causes the other kids to cry....but thats a post for another time.
Here are a few pictures to make this post less of an essay...
Starting at the top: L playing with "colored" water- sort of our version of a little montessori activity. The next two are nursery progress, got a great deal on a room and board glider off craigslist, make some cheap curtains out of clearance sheets, bought fabric for the skirt and pillows on the crib, and repurposed most of L's nursery stuff (light, birds, etc). Bottom left pic is L coloring eggs at school- he looks so old here, no more puffy diaper paints! Last is me at 27 weeks. I am much larger now but have to yet to take another pic.
It feels like so many things have happened, yet not much to write about, or nothing that I want to write about. We have been trying to get the house more "ready" for our little girl arriving in the next 7-9 weeks (if she's on L's schedule she will arrive before the due date, but I have to at least be aware that I could go after my due date, boy will that be difficult to handle).
We are finally making some real progress on the nursery. after L was born I really felt like his room was a waste. He never slept in there and I spent all this time making it so cute. When I first got pregnant this time, I toyed with not even having a nursery and just keeping the 3rd bedroom as an office/playroom. Well I couldn't stand it, and I started to think about how the baby would need a space her own, off limits to L for naps. I figured he would have a harder time staying out f our room then the "baby's" room. We also moved L into the bigger room and I am so glad we did.
Since my last post, L has not once been walked down to sleep- YAY! That does not mean bedtimes are easy, but it's progress. L now enjoys his night time routine of teeth brushing and stories, but he still fights sleep. This shows up in different ways depending on the night. He will ask for food/drinks oevr and over, he will want to have a certain toy in bed and then be distracted by it, or he will want to read certain books that engage him way too much. Books with pop ups, texture, flaps to be lifted, etc are off limits at bed time. We also realize that we need to change books out often or he gets bored. So we decided to go to the library to get a bunch of books every few weeks. My favorite bed time book for him is Bedtime for Francis- the way it is written works well with a fairly monotone voice and usually gets him to bed. But L is so smart that when he wants to fight bed, he fights the books that are great at putting him to sleep. L is also pretty much day time potty trained. He has an occasional accident, and still has some some anxiety about pooping, but I am so happy we can put on underwear, bring our potty in the back of the car and just go. Night time we use pull ups and L seems to avoid pooping during the day on the potty by pooping when he wakes up in a pull up. I am fine with this for now.
We are having a lot of struggles with Ls behavior with other kids at preschool/playgrounds. L hits/pushes if they simply approach him. He really believes they are going to take his toy or get in his space. It's embarrassing to have the kid that causes the other kids to cry....but thats a post for another time.
Here are a few pictures to make this post less of an essay...
Starting at the top: L playing with "colored" water- sort of our version of a little montessori activity. The next two are nursery progress, got a great deal on a room and board glider off craigslist, make some cheap curtains out of clearance sheets, bought fabric for the skirt and pillows on the crib, and repurposed most of L's nursery stuff (light, birds, etc). Bottom left pic is L coloring eggs at school- he looks so old here, no more puffy diaper paints! Last is me at 27 weeks. I am much larger now but have to yet to take another pic.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Big Boy
I really thought I would be blogging more during this pregnancy- it always seemed like something I wanted to do. And then here I am blogging the least I have ever...and there is so much going on.
L is making some major progress in the potty training, and sleeping department. Tonight will hopefully mark the SEVENTH night in a ROW that he has fallen asleep with a story (not a book, but just being told a story in bed). This is HUGE. L has probably done this 2 times in his life prior to the last seven days. It's like he is finally ready to let go of his hate for night time and relax. The potty training was also a huge breakthrough- I started offering him semi sweet chocolate chips to go pee- since he was holding it for hours without his diapers. He started going regularly and now doesn't need a reward to constantly go. He hasn't mastered pulling his pants/underwear down so sometimes he goes on the potty through them. He also sometimes tries to stand/squat over the potty backwards- this made for a hilarious poop that was dropped on the floor in front of the potty. Thankfully we have hard floors and he missed the few carpeted spaces. Hewe isn't ready to go out of the house without a diaper. But yeah, these things are amazing and so nice to see happen before the next baby comes.
We moved L into the other room. It's a larger room and close the the kitchen so he can play in there while I do stuff and still watch him. He likes it a lot better and I credit his better sleeping in part to the room change.
We upholstered his headboard to make it safer and better looking using Daniel's tutorial. We only did the headboard so it would still be easy to take apart, and we do plan on painting the wood gray. We made a wall shelf of books using the Ikea Ribba ledges. I really love how they turned out. We also got a chew nightstand on craigslist. There is so much more to do but it's finally coming together. Here's some shots of it now- far from finished.
I am excited to get started on the babies room. So far we have L's nursery furniture out, but nothing decorated on it's it's permanent spot. I also really want to find a glider I like thats not $1000. I look on craigslist and in the stores but nothing has really popped out at me yet.
L has found his love for legos again- constantly masking "sail boats, "robots", "monster trucks"- have I mentioned how "boy" this kid is? So boy. I got him a doll for Christmas and he frowned and said it belonged to his cousin, who is a girl...oh well. Below L is building towers with D, and then I had to include this sweet sleeping picture.
L is making some major progress in the potty training, and sleeping department. Tonight will hopefully mark the SEVENTH night in a ROW that he has fallen asleep with a story (not a book, but just being told a story in bed). This is HUGE. L has probably done this 2 times in his life prior to the last seven days. It's like he is finally ready to let go of his hate for night time and relax. The potty training was also a huge breakthrough- I started offering him semi sweet chocolate chips to go pee- since he was holding it for hours without his diapers. He started going regularly and now doesn't need a reward to constantly go. He hasn't mastered pulling his pants/underwear down so sometimes he goes on the potty through them. He also sometimes tries to stand/squat over the potty backwards- this made for a hilarious poop that was dropped on the floor in front of the potty. Thankfully we have hard floors and he missed the few carpeted spaces. He
We moved L into the other room. It's a larger room and close the the kitchen so he can play in there while I do stuff and still watch him. He likes it a lot better and I credit his better sleeping in part to the room change.
We upholstered his headboard to make it safer and better looking using Daniel's tutorial. We only did the headboard so it would still be easy to take apart, and we do plan on painting the wood gray. We made a wall shelf of books using the Ikea Ribba ledges. I really love how they turned out. We also got a chew nightstand on craigslist. There is so much more to do but it's finally coming together. Here's some shots of it now- far from finished.
I am excited to get started on the babies room. So far we have L's nursery furniture out, but nothing decorated on it's it's permanent spot. I also really want to find a glider I like thats not $1000. I look on craigslist and in the stores but nothing has really popped out at me yet.
L has found his love for legos again- constantly masking "sail boats, "robots", "monster trucks"- have I mentioned how "boy" this kid is? So boy. I got him a doll for Christmas and he frowned and said it belonged to his cousin, who is a girl...oh well. Below L is building towers with D, and then I had to include this sweet sleeping picture.
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Good Stuff
We also found a wonderful doula- she is not cheap, but she gets it, has the perfect personality to be tough with me when I'm in pain, and to be assertive with the hospital staff. Yes, it appears we will be birthing at the hospital instead of at home. Honestly, I am too fearful of having a catastrophic rupture- if that happened in a home birth baby would die. The risk is very low, but I'm afraid, and low risk doesn't mean I wont be the one that it happens to. Who knows if we change our minds before the birth, but right now that is the plan.
We decided we will not try to move this next year. So now we will paint some of the rooms white (yes white, because this rental is an ugly off white, yellowish neutral that makes my skin crawl. Oh and it's all glossy, every single room, gross!). We are also going move L into the other room so baby girl will have a nursery. I know she may not be in it right away, but I think it's important to have it set up and ready so we can start getting her used to a crib very early. We plan to try different things with her in hopes that she will sleep better then L.
I'm very excited for Xmas this year with L. He is already so into it, loving the outdoor lights, saying "merry christmas", watching the 1964 Rudolf movie. My favorite thing so far this xmas has been buying books to read to L. This sweet bookstore in town just makes me want to curl up in the corner and read to him all day. Plus I don't know how many more times I can read some of the books we have. Lets just say there are several stories L can "read" because he has memorized them.
Above are a few pics, for some reason we have only taken instagram/iphone photos int he last 5 months...First is L listening to the baby with Babkas stethoscope, next is L being a "helicopter pilot", then L at Fairyland on the train in his new hat, and last is L with his friend being utterly adorable together.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
2nd verse- same as the first?
So I'm in the second trimester- and it's still pretty rough. I'm almost 15 weeks and was really hoping the nausea and overall weak feeling would be gone. I have been able to attend L's preschool more frequently, which I love. And I am a little less nauseated, but if I don't get enough rest, or move around too quickly- puking happens. I think I can say this pregnancy is harder then the last. I was working 32 hrs a week and commuting 1 hr each day and I was able to do it after the first week of nausea hell. This time if I had those same commitments I would be even more of a wreck then I already am.
I have been trying to eat a lot of protein and whole foods- when I can get them down I do feel better. A hardboiled egg with some avocado and a pinch of salt has been my go to breakfast. I still seem to need a starch to help with stomach acid, but I am so happy to not just be ingesting terrible grain based, sugar based foods. I have also been loving milk- which is insane since I do not like milk, we never drink it in our home for several reasons- but it's working for me right now and in the big scheme of things is healthier then some other stuff I can stomach.
Next week we may find out the sex of this baby- I hope I will get excited after that. This pregnancy has a lot more uncertainty then the last one; we might (I really want to) move into a better fitting home, insurance is horrendous, maternity leave is going to be harder as I am self employed, our renters may be moving out around the time the baby is due, birth options are a constant concern on my mind, and L has really been regressing with all the changes of me being so sick.
I'm so tired of being sick, I miss having energy, I miss exercise (I laugh at my previous ambitions of continuing to run into pregnancy- I'm lucky if I walk around on some days), and I want to have the same excited happiness I felt last pregnancy. Work is going well- I'm proud I have been able to hang on to that at least. I haven't missed a single appointment. I found another therapist to sublease my office a couple days that I do see patients, and possibly more days as I go on maternity leave. It's nice to know some of my expenses will be covered.
L was Buzz Lightyear for halloween. It was cute, he was pretty scared the skulls, blinking eye decorations, but he did go to a few houses and get some candy. At the first couple houses he tried to walk inside- it was cute, but I had to remind him that we only ring the doorbell and stay on the porch. I can't wait for Christmas, L is going to love it this year, and I BETTER feel better by then, or this uterus is seriously closed for business indefinitely...
I have been trying to eat a lot of protein and whole foods- when I can get them down I do feel better. A hardboiled egg with some avocado and a pinch of salt has been my go to breakfast. I still seem to need a starch to help with stomach acid, but I am so happy to not just be ingesting terrible grain based, sugar based foods. I have also been loving milk- which is insane since I do not like milk, we never drink it in our home for several reasons- but it's working for me right now and in the big scheme of things is healthier then some other stuff I can stomach.
Next week we may find out the sex of this baby- I hope I will get excited after that. This pregnancy has a lot more uncertainty then the last one; we might (I really want to) move into a better fitting home, insurance is horrendous, maternity leave is going to be harder as I am self employed, our renters may be moving out around the time the baby is due, birth options are a constant concern on my mind, and L has really been regressing with all the changes of me being so sick.
I'm so tired of being sick, I miss having energy, I miss exercise (I laugh at my previous ambitions of continuing to run into pregnancy- I'm lucky if I walk around on some days), and I want to have the same excited happiness I felt last pregnancy. Work is going well- I'm proud I have been able to hang on to that at least. I haven't missed a single appointment. I found another therapist to sublease my office a couple days that I do see patients, and possibly more days as I go on maternity leave. It's nice to know some of my expenses will be covered.
L was Buzz Lightyear for halloween. It was cute, he was pretty scared the skulls, blinking eye decorations, but he did go to a few houses and get some candy. At the first couple houses he tried to walk inside- it was cute, but I had to remind him that we only ring the doorbell and stay on the porch. I can't wait for Christmas, L is going to love it this year, and I BETTER feel better by then, or this uterus is seriously closed for business indefinitely...
Saturday, October 13, 2012
1st Trimester Nightmare
This is a giant whine/bitch fest....never before pregnant women, read at your own risk and know that not everyone feels this shitty.
I forgot how difficult the 1st trimester is. It's been about 6 weeks since I started feeling the "morning sickness", and although the peak of that seems to be ending, I am now being detained by incredibly painful headaches. I keep trying to figure out if this is how I felt with L (the headaches are for sure a new thing), or if it's worse, and also, when exactly did I get better. I know it did get better, the second trimester and most of the third weren't too bad. I had a lot of Braxton hicks contractions, but no nausea, and no pain that couldn't be helped with massage or a warm bath.
I guess I assumed since I was in better shape this time, I wouldn't suffer too much in the beginning. I guess having a toddler that does not think it's ok for mama to rest is probably not helping my case.
I want to be excited about this pregnancy, and I want to enjoy fall- I F*CKING love fall (the weather, the foods, the fun stuff to do with L). But I honestly feel like my life is on hold. I spend the days I can resting, laying down, drinking insane amounts of club soda (something about the carbonation stops me from vomiting it up). If I overdo it, I suffer the consequences...either some awesome puke session or a headache that brings me to tears. Chocolate helps the headaches though (maybe the combination of sugar and caffiene), learned that last night.
I have missed almost every day of L's preschool. D has been great and attending them all. I hate that I am not able to be there for L like I want. I get sh*t from some women who did not have difficult pregnancies saying I should just, "drink ginger ale, eat small meals, and force yourself to do things". It's frustrating, but ultimately they don't know what they are talking about because even the mildest birth control hormones cause vomiting in me (aka hormone changes and me are not friends), and there's a whole lot more hormone changes going on right now then in those ridiculous nuva rings (seriously lame invention imo). Then I also get the, "isn't there anything you can take, maybe your Dr. can prescribe something?" BS that some people try to pull on me. NOPE, don't feel like taking a drug that isn't considered extremely safe unless I am having serious consequences (loosing a lot of weight, dehydrated, can't keep anything down). I would rather alter my life, take it as easy as I can, then pop a pill that probably wont be very effective and cause a slew of shitty side effects (main one being really bad constipation- so yes shitty).
It's been hard to keep a positive outlook after 6 weeks though. It's exactly why people with chronic pain and illness have an incredibly high rate of also suffering from depression. It's as if something is constantly weighing you down.
This week D and I will be meeting with a homebirth midwife. We haven't decided if this is the route for us, but I need to find out if it's even a possibility for us. I had high blood pressure the last couple weeks of my pregnancy with L, so maybe that alone risks me out. I need to know that it's not an option for me to be able to commit to a hospital birth. I actually really like my Dr, and if she would be there for my birth, I would have much less hesitation. But she wont be- well she is on call once a week for a 12 hr shift....so basically I can't count on it. But money is also a factor- homebirth plus a transfer if needed is A LOT of money. And then there's all the VBAC things to worry about.
Side note: I was readingsome a lot of birth stories; over and over women say contractions felt like really bad menstrual cramps...mine so did not feel like that, if they had I would have rocked my labor. My contractions felt like a bomb was exploding all over my uterus and ripping me apart...I really need a new game plan for dealing with that this time.
This week we will also have our NT ultrasound. I'm all for screenings, it's important for me to know about the health of this baby. I don't think there will be any concerns, but I'm looking forward to the high resolution ultrasound- I need something about this pregnancy to get enjoyable really quick.
I keep wondering about the gender of this baby- a lot of pressure from friends, family to have a girl- ok guys, I'll get on that! Honestly, I would like a girl, but not for the reason that I wouldn't want a boy. I want a girl for the reason that it will be easier to not have any more children if I choose not to. Basically that concept started due to how difficult this pregnancy has been. I always wanted 3 kids, maybe 4- but now I just want to never experience this ever again. This 1st trimester hasn't been far from a nightmare and has even taken me to some dark places.
Hopefully things will get better soon. Of course there will be the first kicks, finding out the sex, actually looking pregnant- not bloated, organizing newborn stuff.......bring on that second trimester!
I forgot how difficult the 1st trimester is. It's been about 6 weeks since I started feeling the "morning sickness", and although the peak of that seems to be ending, I am now being detained by incredibly painful headaches. I keep trying to figure out if this is how I felt with L (the headaches are for sure a new thing), or if it's worse, and also, when exactly did I get better. I know it did get better, the second trimester and most of the third weren't too bad. I had a lot of Braxton hicks contractions, but no nausea, and no pain that couldn't be helped with massage or a warm bath.
I guess I assumed since I was in better shape this time, I wouldn't suffer too much in the beginning. I guess having a toddler that does not think it's ok for mama to rest is probably not helping my case.
I want to be excited about this pregnancy, and I want to enjoy fall- I F*CKING love fall (the weather, the foods, the fun stuff to do with L). But I honestly feel like my life is on hold. I spend the days I can resting, laying down, drinking insane amounts of club soda (something about the carbonation stops me from vomiting it up). If I overdo it, I suffer the consequences...either some awesome puke session or a headache that brings me to tears. Chocolate helps the headaches though (maybe the combination of sugar and caffiene), learned that last night.
I have missed almost every day of L's preschool. D has been great and attending them all. I hate that I am not able to be there for L like I want. I get sh*t from some women who did not have difficult pregnancies saying I should just, "drink ginger ale, eat small meals, and force yourself to do things". It's frustrating, but ultimately they don't know what they are talking about because even the mildest birth control hormones cause vomiting in me (aka hormone changes and me are not friends), and there's a whole lot more hormone changes going on right now then in those ridiculous nuva rings (seriously lame invention imo). Then I also get the, "isn't there anything you can take, maybe your Dr. can prescribe something?" BS that some people try to pull on me. NOPE, don't feel like taking a drug that isn't considered extremely safe unless I am having serious consequences (loosing a lot of weight, dehydrated, can't keep anything down). I would rather alter my life, take it as easy as I can, then pop a pill that probably wont be very effective and cause a slew of shitty side effects (main one being really bad constipation- so yes shitty).
It's been hard to keep a positive outlook after 6 weeks though. It's exactly why people with chronic pain and illness have an incredibly high rate of also suffering from depression. It's as if something is constantly weighing you down.
This week D and I will be meeting with a homebirth midwife. We haven't decided if this is the route for us, but I need to find out if it's even a possibility for us. I had high blood pressure the last couple weeks of my pregnancy with L, so maybe that alone risks me out. I need to know that it's not an option for me to be able to commit to a hospital birth. I actually really like my Dr, and if she would be there for my birth, I would have much less hesitation. But she wont be- well she is on call once a week for a 12 hr shift....so basically I can't count on it. But money is also a factor- homebirth plus a transfer if needed is A LOT of money. And then there's all the VBAC things to worry about.
Side note: I was reading
This week we will also have our NT ultrasound. I'm all for screenings, it's important for me to know about the health of this baby. I don't think there will be any concerns, but I'm looking forward to the high resolution ultrasound- I need something about this pregnancy to get enjoyable really quick.
I keep wondering about the gender of this baby- a lot of pressure from friends, family to have a girl- ok guys, I'll get on that! Honestly, I would like a girl, but not for the reason that I wouldn't want a boy. I want a girl for the reason that it will be easier to not have any more children if I choose not to. Basically that concept started due to how difficult this pregnancy has been. I always wanted 3 kids, maybe 4- but now I just want to never experience this ever again. This 1st trimester hasn't been far from a nightmare and has even taken me to some dark places.
Hopefully things will get better soon. Of course there will be the first kicks, finding out the sex, actually looking pregnant- not bloated, organizing newborn stuff.......bring on that second trimester!
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