Friday, July 22, 2011

Why I can't...

I can't do cry-it-out or any form of it with L.  Yes, we still struggle to get enough sleep around here, L comes into our bed every night, nurses multiple times throughout the night, and gets worn down by D at night.  But I can't believe that when L cries it isn't him communicating that he needs something- usually me.  And because I believe this, I can't ignore his cries.  I fear doing so will teach him that his communication is useless and wont be heard.  I don't want him to ever stop crying if he is still in need.  I know that sounds crazy, and at moments I feel on the brink of be willing to do anything to get him to calm down- but thats my stuff, not his.  L shouldn't have to put up with me being burnt out just yet- he is still a baby, and needs to be nurtured not hardened.

But just because I can't do it, doesn't mean I don't struggle with my decision- it's important to remind myself of why I am not choosing to parent this way- especially when I start to get burnt out or when D asks me "what's next?" as far as putting L to sleep.  So just in perfect timing, I came across this on pinterest (if you don't want to spend more time online do not, I repeat, do not go on pinterest).

"Don't stand unmoving outside the door of a crying baby whose only desire is to touch you.  Go to your baby.  Go to your baby a million times.  Demonstrate that people can be trusted, that the environment can be trusted, that we live in a benign universe." 
                                                                               -Peggy O'Mara


  1. There are a few times Adrian will just cry. I lay next to him and pat his back while he's crying. He doesn't want to be held or cuddled. He becomes over-exhausted when he refuses to sleep.

  2. L totally gets overtired, struggles to fall asleep and then cries, but we have to be holding him- if we lay him down it turns into increasingly upset crying- the kid knows what he likes.