I'm a Wimp

Countdown...

2 days till work
1 day till L starts daycare

Lets just say I'm freaking out a little bit.  I'm naturally a pretty anxious person, add in 4 1/2 months of maternity leave ending, my precious baby starting daycare, and just a sense of chaos at home (not relationship wise, just organization/cleanliness) and I'm a rattled mess.  I have no idea how I will adjust to this new schedule, I haven't been very disciplined about sleep training myself- I woke up at noon yesterday after falling asleep after 2am.  I will have to wake up around 5:30 tomorrow for our "dry run".  

The plan is to prep everything I can the night before (L's daycare stuff, outfit for the next day, bottles, pump stuff, work stuff, my outfit, etc).  D has this week off so he will be there to help out.

The Plan


5:30   wake up, nurse L in bed
         shower
         get dressed
         pump (hopefully I wont have to do morning pumps, but I will till I know)
         eat breakfast
         get L ready
         nurse
7:00   leave 
         commute is 30-45 min
         drop L off at Daycare (we will be hanging out a bit since it's the first day)
         drive to my work to test the route
         occupy ourselves near the daycare (go to breakfast, window shop, run errands)
9:00   pump (this will be around the time I will pump at work)
         occupy ourselves near the daycare
12:00 go nurse L (I plan to go to his daycare and nurse him on my lunches)
         occupy ourselves near the daycare
3:00  pump
        FINALLY pick up our bear bear.

Then Tuesday is a whole other ball game- instead of pretend work, I will go to real work.  I'm more then a little nervous about returning as a lot of things changed.  Right when I was leaving we were converting to an all electronic system- new scheduling, new charting...basically like going to a new job that has a different system/structure.  Also, most of the clients will be new, and even my coworkers have changed.  I expect to be learning the ropes for the first couples weeks.  And my job isn't a job that allows for being distant or preoccupied- I'm a therapist, being present is part of what I should do.  To make matters more emotional, I work in a program for women with children and the children participate with the mothers- so I will be reminded of L constantly.

I think I need to give myself a stern pep talk...but right now I'm just wallowing in being a wimp.

Oh and I changed the blog design a little- I'm still learning how to personalize things so expect changes.

Resources I have found helpful for moms returning to work:

Work and Pump- Great website, specifically this page.
Kelly Mom- obviously a great help