Sunday, November 21, 2010

Milestone for me

Well this weekend D and I went out (only about 5 min away, and for a few hours) without L!!!  It was HARD, but I knew I had to start small and do it soon since the 30th we are going to the city without him.  We were down in south bay visiting my mom - it was nice to relax a little and have a change of scenery, and go to the new whole foods.  Yes, I know its nick name is "whole paycheck", but I can't deny that they have great things there.
On Saturday morning I pumped a bottle while D and I talked about possibly seeing a movie by ourselves.  The movie theater near by was in a mall and my moms friend had given me a gift card to the Cheesecake Factory, so we settled on going there for a few drinks then deciding if we could do a movie.  I wasn't about to get food there being dairy free and all, I wish they would make a dairy free cheesecake option - maybe made out of nut butter like the raw vegan desserts from Cafe Gratitude.  I cried when we left L, I cried in the car, and even at the bar...D was very supportive.
Once we got to the Cheesecake Factory I was overwhelmed - I hadn't been to a bar or ordered a drink in what seemed like forever.  I thought back to some drinks I used to like and ordered a gin and tonic - mistake.  I took a few sips, asked for extra lime, then ordered a glass of red wine - much better.  It was very strange at first to be without L, and of course thats almost all we talked about.  But it seemed like we had fleeting moments where it was just the two of us again.  
We decided against the movie, and instead walked around the mall - I bought some makeup at Sephora, D got a new Giants hat.  After a few hours we headed back.  L was asleep in the Babyhawk, my mom was wearing him.  I went over and kissed him, he woke up, I nursed him - I felt complete again.  So there it is, my mommy milestone - going out with D alone, leaving L with one of his grandmas.  Next weekend is going to be wild - 3 grandparents houses for Thanksgiving celebrations in three days.

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