At The Park

Today was unusually beautiful so we took L to the park....


It was L's first time in the swing.

He wasn't terribly amused... especially with the ultra light pushing that I would allow.

L wanted to crawl off the blanket onto the grass, but he was only able to scoot.

He had an interesting reaction once he met the grass...  see his angry face?

L is changing so much- in this picture he looks a lot more like D as a baby.

Adorable Video

Happy 7 months

  

My little bear- you amaze me every day.  I just know you will be crawling before we celebrate our next monthly milestone- you already get up on all fours, rock back and fourth.  This frustrates you to no end because all you want to do is go!  You still love snuggles and mama's milk, but no longer are content just sitting in our arms or laps- must grab this thing or that thing and still must put any thing in your mouth.  I have to be on my toes when we are out or eating with you- if it's in your reach it's fair game for a tasting.  We have done a combination of purees and whole foods- you love them both in different ways- purees for filling up your tummy and whole foods so you can practice grabbing, bringing to your mouth, chewing, being independent.  It's wonderful and a little sad for me how independent you are becoming.   All the love in the world to you bear-bear.

       

Taking things back...

In my most unprofessional moment of my adult life...I retracted my resignation on Monday.  So basically I broke up with my work and got back together with them the next day- well next business day.  Something about becoming a mom has made me incredibly messy. Not that I was controlled and perfect before- but now I can't even pretend I have it together if I really don't!  It's freeing and frustrating.

It boils down to this- I'm not ready to give up my career, I have it pretty good- a 4 day work week, only 3 of those days L is in daycare, I see him every daycare day at lunch, and this is the STUPIDEST time to quit with D starting out freelancing.  In the next few weeks I will sending in my application to sit for my licensing exam and become a full MFT (Marriage and Family Therapist).  I have been working toward this for a long time.

So in an effort to make working and parenting a little bit more balanced- D and I are going to use some of the income I bring home to have a weekly cleaning service.  This wont solve the loads of diapers or bottle/pump parts I do regularly- cause rally,I doubt a cleaning service wants to wash poopy diapers and clean tiny plastic pieces covered in breast milk...but it will allow me more time with L and D instead of cleaning the rest of the house.

No more work...

I put in my resignation on Friday...what did I do!?!?!

I thought finally putting in my resignation (which wont be till the end of April) would provide me with relief, but instead a whole new set of emotions/concerns/worries have arrived.  I'm processing how much of my identity is formed from the work I do, with the clients and coworkers I do it with.  I worked very hard to get to where I am in my career-a bachelors, a masters, 3000 clinical hours, being ready to sit for my license exams.  I also have pretty great employers with respectable pay (nothing fancy, but far from minimum wage)- and I'm letting it all go...

...To be with my son- thats the part I forget when I sit in the poor me I wont have a job state of mind.  I hope we can make it financially, I hope I can make emotionally, and when I do return to work I hope I find a place I like as much as this job.

Quiet Time

It's not even 6am- I've been up for a while.  L is snuggled up in our bed (still sleeping- this is lovely) and I'm stealing some alone time out here on D's computer.  I have never been a morning person, but something about motherhood has changed that.  I often look forward to mornings, naturally can't sleep in till noon (even if L was being looked after), but now I have coffee every day- a habit I hope to break.  I got a taste of being a single parent last night.  D is in LA for work- we miss him.

It's Been A While

Posts here have been pretty much non-existant.  My lap top seems to have finally died.  Took it to the apple store and the genius bar guy suggested I send it in and said hopefully it will only cost $300- only wouldn't have been the word I used, but yes, if thats the lowest possible price, lets hope.

A lot has been going on around here.  D left his full time job (now works for them per diem) to join the union and go freelance. So far it's been great, he is working every week day, making more money, and just enjoying what he does much more.  Currently he is working on the film shooting in SF and Oakland about Hemingway- staring Clive Owen, Nicole Kidman, and a few more recognizable stars that I can't think of at the moment.  Yes, he has seen them shooting scenes and talked with a few famous people.

This change in D's work has led us to discuss when/if I can stop working and take care of L full time.  There is a part of me that fights this and can't imagine only being a mom- there's that word again.  But really, having done that on my maternity leave I know that it is absolutely a full time job and only is the worst word to describe it.  This has also got us thinking about when/where we want to move. We are currently located where neither of us feel is a forever home.  My head has been spinning with thoughts about renting/selling/moving/buying/planning- it's more then a little overwhelming with pets and kids.

Yesterday we went to the East Bay and L was being adorable so we took a billion pictures of him.  Here are a few...

Wordless Wednesday: Baby Food

Nursery Shared

A blog, Baby Space, that I visited regularly for ideas and inspiration while pregnant-and visit still because it features some of the cutest, innovative babies/kids spaces- is featuring L's nursery.  It's so exciting to see his little room on Baby Space.

Check it out!

This is a must see...

I always thought toddlers reminded me of drunk people....or is that drunk people remind me of toddlers?

Watch this video