Hitting and the word "NO"

Today started off great- L was in a good mood, he asked me to put on Jillian Michaels (this kid is so supportive of my exercising)- and he ate well, showered well, and we were off to Little Gym.

When we got there it was a different story- he started looking at other kids and saying "No" and going to hit them.  When we were in the beginning circle and trying to "share" a bean bag L was the only one who refused to hand it off and the whole time tantrumed to get it back.  This continued to the point of me being so embarrassed and frustrated that I took him out to the waiting area to see if he was hungry.  he said he wanted a banana but refused to eat it and kept picking up chairs claiming they were "broken"- they weren't.  Finally I decided lets just leave.

I hate this feeling- like my kid is the only one who hits and frowns at other kids while saying "NO". Or at least he is the only kid in that class/playdate/visit.  I have no clue how best to redirect/correct this behavior.  I do know that he was tired today at Little Gym and I have seen him being hungry trigger this.

I think D and I intervene appropriately- at least everything I have read is exactly what we do...except L probably sees a lot of redirecting our dog which isn't great.  Obviously we don't hit our dog, but we do say "no" to her a lot, or "off".  And we do for lack of better words- tap/push her to redirect if she is jumping on someone or about to grab food.  Obviously not hard, but in the way that you learn at dog training classes.  I might have to get creative with how to redirect our dog.

Also- L never hit till he was with his uncle (who is 5 months older).  His uncle hit him several times and L was very upset.  He also was picked on by a boy in our old moms group.  After those incidents I noticed that instead of welcoming peers to be close to him, he started frowning and lashing out.  It was almost as if he no longer trusted other kids and needed to protect himself.

Now if only I could let go and believe this is normal toddler behavior so I didn't feel like a horrible mom...